Bags of Hope

What a busy year it's been! I don't know about you but here in Ohio we have been plagued with White Death to the point of so many days off school my kids are doing Blizzard Bags. Which is really a punishment to me. But...anyways. Then there was the stomach virus that attacked my middle daughter. Her blood sugar runs beautifully the first couple of days when she is in full blown sickness mode. It's crazy. Then ketones show up and then it's me pushing fluids or the ole, "if you don't drink and flush these ketones out we will be going to the ER for an IV!!!" This usually does the trick but this virus was nasty. She was out of commission for 4 days and really wasn't back to her normal self until a week later. Oh, and did I mention she had try-outs for an AAU basketball team during this time? Yep. She nailed it. I have no idea how she was able to do it and score well but she did! Props to her! Thought my other two kids dodged the virus bullet but then coming home from Akron after attending a funeral it started with my eldest...in the car...fun times. Same deal with her...blood sugars running great. Darn ketones show up and hard to get rid of. Three days later she was weak but okay. Just as she was on the mend...virus shows up in my son. Thankfully, it wasn't nearly as bad, although it wiped him out for a good 3 days. But for him I didn't have to worry about ketones and blood sugars. Which was weird. But I was glad for the break.

So all the while this fun is occurring I'm trying to get some hours in at our local JDRF office in. We have a huge T1D Expo to plan and secure vendors and speakers for break-out sessions and Bags of Hope to log and send out. The weekend our Expo was scheduled we had to reschedule due to the blasted White Death. But this gave me time to catch up on the ever growing pile of Bags of Hope. If you're not familiar with these bags they are book bags filled with diabetes books for kids, a Calorie King, glucose meter, log books, and Rufus the diabetes bear. We mail these bags to all newly diagnosed kids in the Cincy/TriState area. Along in doing this I also record the names and info from the family. It breaks my heart. As I'm recording their age my heart sinks and I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Nora was 4 when she was diagnosed so any 4 year old I record I just stop and pause. Any age below that I just shake my head...they are just babies!! Any age above that I think of all the ages Nora was and what she was involved with in school and sports. The teenagers really get to me as Nora is now 13 and it's such a sucky age anyway. Wanting to be "normal"...trying to fit in. And then a kids been diagnosed with diabetes and it just sucks.

I've been there. Through most of those ages. You've been there. And it hurts.

It's not a fun job in recording the newly diagnosed. I want to wrap my arms around these families and give them a big hug and let them know that they aren't alone. It gets...not better, but normal. It will be okay. In sending those Bags of Hope out I do feel like I'm sending them Hope. It may be just a box full of stuff but it's what they do with the information in that box that gives them Hope. If it's asking for a Mentor or calling the office to sign up to volunteer...that's hope.

It gave me hope. It's almost been 9 years since I called JDRF while Nora was in her second day at the hospital with this new diagnosis. I called and requested this Bag of Hope. And we've never looked back. We've pushed forward to help others. To offer them hope. So while it's a job that needs to be done and something I dread doing because it means D got another one of our loved ones; I do the job happily to send them a Bag of Hope.

Blue Heel Society Fan Of The Week Kerry Shannon Rasinski

Thanks to the generosity of the Developers of our BHS Fan Of The Week (FOTW) Application, we have a full working version of their Top Fan Application that allows us to showcase our Bluetiful peeps, based on computer magic (Randomness) & multiple interaction factors on our Facebook Page.

This weeks Fan of the Week (FOTW) is Kerry Shannon Rasinski, and we asked Ms. Rasinski to answer a few questions as to learn a little more about her.

BHS: Connection w/ diabetes?
KSR: My son, Lucas, is 13 yrs old and was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when he was 5 yrs old.

BHS: General geographic location?
KSR: I live in Aurora, Illinois.

BHS: What blue shoe (Heel, sneaker, riding shoe, etc.) suits you & Why?
KSR: I wear a Blue "Sneaker" because I'm always on the go. 

BHS: What does advocacy mean to you?
KSR: To me, advocacy means getting out there and standing up for your rights and educating people about Type 1 Diabetes. I try to educate at least one person about Type 1 Diabetes everyday. 

BHS: Words of wisdom/encouraging statement/general statement about diabetes?
KSR: You have to take Type 1 Diabetes one day at a time. Managing Type 1 Diabetes is not a Science...it's an Art! I can change in a second...

Congrats to Ms. Rasinski, and as always a big ole thank you to all of YOU for being a bluetiful part of our Family.

On the other side of the camera.

I often post photos of my kids. I feel like the people I socialize with on certain social media sites have been in my life since my son was diagnosed, so they are family...and I have come to depend on them for humor, support, and reference them for anything diabetes related. They get all the details. I probably over share, truth be told. I don't mean to, but honestly, I just call it like I see it. Some days, it's a big peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and we all get a bite. Others.....well, it's tuna fish.

Today, my baby daughter turned 4. We spent the day rushing around, securing Lalaloopsy plates and ring pops....all of the elements to make sure that she parties like a rock star at her party tomorrow......and posted photos online, depicting such....and much to my delight, received a ton of sweet messages for her to enjoy.

I did my daughter a disservice today. You see, 4 years ago, on this day, I lay in a hospital, having given birth to my fourth child.....facing a very certain divorce. I knew my marriage had reached it's death bed. Not like, *you did this to me, I hate you* it was all sorts of Jim Morrison and "this...is....the.....end". C'est la vie....I can say this now, it's hindsight...don't go all weird.

 I had asked for an epidural, as I am a huge baby, and had three kids prior, two without drugged intervention, BLESSED drug intervention....Now, I will not go into all of the gory details about how wrong that anesthesia procedure went, and the events, including two blood patches.....Google it, it's so fun after pushing a giant kid out of you.....Good times.

"What time was she born?"  he asked me.

What? How mortifying to me that I could not recall this. I was red hot embarrassed and beyond reproach.

I talked about this last night, at length and in detail to my loved one.....and it made me angry. It lingered all day in the back of my head.....not about the divorce, or the very ugly bruises from the battle, but  the thoughts stolen even as I posted all of the photos of my daughter, I sat there, thinking about March.....and what happened to my son.

I suck so much for taking ONE second to think about that day, yet, I couldn't stop myself.

A very certain diagnosis. Five weeks after she was born, my boy, my baby boy, at the tender age of three....... it was a blur, the 911 call, no ambulance available, my now ex refusing my calls....the cold, silent ride to the hospital.....the anguish in his voice when they held him down and put the IV in.......and the doctor, this tiny woman with mousy brown hair, who looked like she would fall over if I sneezed on her.....saying what I already knew......they told us we caught it early. He was not in DKA, and his A1c, while elevated at 9.4 was okay, we caught it, and now we can give him insulin....and insurance companies called, and there was a nutritionist....I think, and...TODAY IS HER BIRTHDAY, God, Diane, shut the eff up inside. But, Diane, in 5 weeks, he has had diabetes for four years...and longer than he hasn't. I chose to suppress all of this, so I didn't think about diabetes....and it stole my joy, anyway. I know, you shouldn't let diabetes steal your joy, sue me. I failed.

This is when diabetes doesn't play fair...and rapes your soul. Not just his blood sugars. Evil bitch, she is.


Listen, I am okay....not some maniac rocking in the corner, going to her happy place, but I have triggers. 4th birthdays do this.....Not that my kids are immune to diabetes past the forth birthday....but it's one of those weird things...in my brain....

I have many friends within the diabetes community who have received the second diagnosis, the third.....I do not envy them. I am weak and wouldn't know what to do. I don't allow myself to trend there.....

Except today. Because you see, the point in all of this horrible drivel, is that my  now FOUR year old peed in her bed last night, and again today....and drank almost three liters of water and milk.

What the hell else would I have thought?

BG 102.

Somethings change you, from the inside out. And no matter what picture you post or paint, the real you is behind all of it. I don't want you to see a perfect shot...but the eyes behind it.

We all walk this walk. Some in heels, some in hell.....some in faith.

I also know, that behind my camera, I have a family of people who would never let me go down a path of craziness alone.

Thank you for loving my family and showing me that daily.

Life Inside the Blue Circle

Lots of changes....LOTS, and boy are we ever proud of how much love and feedback we are getting.

When Blue Heel Society was conceptualized, none of us were content just being another blog....we always envisioned being diverse, well rounded, interesting.....something for people to talk about. We did JUST that.

We recently rethought how we wanted to look and read, and our ePublication was born. The new flip style magazine works on any device and we added some pages of non diabetes related reading as well, since we all have the diabetes connection, and actually have a life, beyond a diagnosis. Go figure.

We will add content daily, to each of the six publications and would LOVE to hear from you about what's going on in your life.

Our dedicated Luminaries have started an online page for all of us to share events and promotions going on inside of the DOC!

Have a look, have a like and spread the word. Thanks for being here.

Diane Cervati
Founder/Editor in Chief

Nora's Poem

This trimester my daughter, Nora, is writing poetry. Their first assignment was a free for all...write whatever. She's 13. In the 7th grade. It sucks. And she has diabetes. 

Here is her poem: 

I felt really ill one day.
So, my parents took me away.
I was in the emergency room,
It had a very odd fume.

When my family arrived,
We hoped I was still alive.
My Mom checked me in,
So, I could go to my room then.

I was scared of the needles,
They stung like a beetle.
I was in such doom,
My heart went BOOM BOOM BOOM!

I was only year four,
I wanted to walk out the door.
My life turned into a mess,
But I gave no fuss.

I had to stay hydrated so I drank from my cup,
And I dared to give up.
In my hospital bed I would lay,
The only thing I could do was pray.

I thought my life had ended,
But my family's faith hadn't ended.
The doctor's told me to what I could only cope,
All I gave was my great hope.

I still have a fear,
I pray for just a cure.
God wouldn't let me give up,
So I chose to get up.

I stayed brave,
For I was saved.
As long as the wait,
There is still always strength.

I had been diagnosed with a deathly disease,
Called Type 1 diabetes.
I still had my friends,
I knew it was not the end.

~Nora