Keep, Toss, Shred...

Now that school is out I feel the need to purge.

I can't believe the mounds of paper. Paper is EVERYWHERE. It's multiplying like bunnies!!

We were given a "new to us" desk...it was originally intended to go into our son's room but it didn't work out in there so I'm putting it to good use.

And now I'm organized!! I was before (in my own sick way) but now I LOOK organized!!

Everything has a place and a home and I just feel ahhh...peaceful. Relaxed. Organized. Inspired.

Here is the favorite part of my desk...

The top shelf...my HOPE...my Blue...my inspiration!!

You may be thinking...is Jen really blogging about her new desk?!?! Well...yes and no. I have a point here.

As I was going through all the papers. I was sorting what I needed, needed to pitch and needed to shred. I came across the girls Endo appointment papers. The ones that have their A1C results, next appointment scheduled, changes to insulin, etc. I've kept everyone for the past couple of years for Nora.

Why was I holding on to these?!?! I keep the most recent one handy in case of pump malfunction so I have the settings written down. But I guess I hadn't thrown the other handouts out before replacing it with the current one. I put in the toss pile. But then got a little worried...am I going to need these? Should I keep them? Frame the good ones?

Yep...I just went there.

It's paper for crying out loud!! I tossed it...well, I shredded it since it had our info on it. Will I want to look back at an appointment from January of 2008? Nope. It was a day out of the year. A blimp in Nora's diabetes care. Does it hold memories? No. It's a document stating that we went to the Endo that day. It doesn't tell me what I ate for dinner that night. It doesn't tell me how Nora's blood sugar ran that day. It's a piece of paper that reminds me of what I know already.

She has diabetes. She lives with diabetes. And we will be back in three months at a certain time to live it all over again.

And I'm off...to go fill up the desk drawers with some organized papers and check some blood sugars...

Walk A Day In My Shoes...

In light of recent events I felt the need to get this off my chest. Most of you understand what it's like to walk a day in my shoes because you are...and this post is not intended for you. This post is for the person who thinks, "it's only diabetes...it CAN'T be that hard". This post is for the well meaning people who really, truly care about us (me, you, the diabetes community) and WANT to know what it's like. This post is for those that think they care but sure don't show it or get it, for that matter.

A Day in My Shoes....

Midnight:

• Check Blood sugar
• Treat based on blood sugar reading: anything above 150 give insulin, anything below 90 treat with juice or smarties or whatever sugary substance you can force down your SLEEPING kids throat. NOW, factor in a two hour basketball practice that she just came home from 3 hours ago. Factor in how stressed she was because she has a final tomorrow. Factor in she is 12...and in puberty...knowing all that do you still treat with insulin or with sugar? Quick...gotta decide something!! 

1AM-3AM:

• Crap! You can't sleep because your worried about all the above. Did you do the right thing? Did you give too much insulin...even though the pump says you should give xxx amount. Is she low, even though you just treated her but a few hours ago?!? 
• Worrying your kid will DIE from a low blood sugar. You read right, DIE. It happens.
• You have this nagging feeling or a CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor) alarms and you go check your blissfully sleeping child and find their little finger prick it, wait for the blood sugar reading and either give yourself a high five because you guessed right, YES, I said guessed because diabetes is NOT an exact science, or beat yourself up because you treated with too much or too little of the above mentioned items.

3AM-6AM:

• Refer to Midnight and 1AM-3AM

6AM-8AM:

• You might as well get up...your not sleeping anyway and if you finally DID drift off to sleep the school alarm is screaming at you to do so! 

8AM-3PM:

• You will possibly field 1-10 phone calls from the school nurse. It's a call about being low and continues to be low. Or the call is about being high and she feels like crap and her head is spinning and her tummy hurts but she has to feel better because she is missing part of her testing right now. 

3PM-6PM:

• School ends and a blood sugar check reveals she is low. Treat and send her to the carpool pick up. Deal with the low all the way home.
• She walks in the house and raids the refrigerator because she is low and just wants to eat to feel better. OR she is high and feels sick, can't eat, can't do school work and just needs to chill. 
• Get homework done if blood sugar is in range.
• Sports practice/Girl Scouts/Tutoring/whatever event your kid is in...pack up a diabetes emergency kit because insulin sites can sweat off or get kinked, glucagon in case she has a severe low, juice boxes, smarties, skittles, peanut butter crackers...just pack up your pantry...you might need to treat a low!! Oh, yea, did you pack up her practice gear?! Water bottle?! 

6PM-9PM:

•  Fix dinner but she won't eat until after she is home from practice...so figure out carbs and adjust based on activity. Did she practice hard or was it an easy lesson? Did she run low/high during practice.
• Homework and dealing with melt downs because she doesn't understand something but it's really because her blood sugar is out of range. 

9PM-12AM:

• Get a shower and get ready for bed. 
• Gotta stop everything because she is low/high and not feeling well. 
• I have to pack her lunch because our school lunch doesn't have carb counts and really, would she eat it?! Count out and weigh, chips, cookies, sandwich, drink, fruit. Write down on a little piece of paper and include in her lunch sack. 
• Check blood sugar. 

REPEAT ALL THE ABOVE EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!! 

Are you exhausted yet from just READING this?! Think about actually LIVING this. Factor in stress, colds, the flu, puberty...there is no rhyme or reason to diabetes. This is ONLY the day to day maintenance of living with diabetes. I have this times two. I have TWO daughters with Type 1. I have a son with a bleeding disorder. I haven't even touched on the hours I spend fighting with insurance companies for coverage on medicine that keeps them alive. Or the every 3 month Endo visits I have to take my girls to. Or the fact I worry every time they leave my care that they will die. 

I don't want your pity. I just want you to know; it's not JUST diabetes. It's serious. It's life threatening hourly. It's REAL. 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. 

Thank you for walking a day in my shoes. 

DiabetesCare.net presents the 'MyCare DiabetesTracker App' invitation for Beta Testing

UPDATE - Although the Beta Testing is 'officially' closed now, the GREAT folks at DiabetesCare.net has allowed us a couple more testing slots. More info below:

Part of the Blue Heel Society’s Mission includes locating the very best Tools And Resources to share with our Bluetiful peeps...of course for FREE!

Another critical part of our Mission over the course of our one and one half years around, is to locate and align ourselves with the very best Strategic Partners we can find, while always  (hopefully!) maintaining our integrity, and ensuring these Partners have same minded goals and messages that we do.

We are very happy to introduce to you, the great folks at DiabetesCare.net. They are still accepting requests to be a part of a Beta test of an upcoming app (MyCare DiabetesTracker),  that we are confident will ROCK things quite nicely. Here are just some of the things that the ‘MyCare Diabetes Tracker’ will do:

• Manage your diabetes anytime on any device

• Track blood glucose, weight, medication, activity, & more

• Incredibly intuitive meal building, planning, and analysis

• Fully featured and FREE to use

Of course we all know this is not the first App that does some of the above, but we are quite confident it will be like no other app available now. DiabetesCare.net is a powerhouse when it comes to offering truly BEST for all of us affected by diabetes, always for FREE!

You will hear us talk often about DiabetesCare.net, as we are just tickled BLUE about our [growing] relationship with them. We truly hope you will be a part of something even bigger to come, and join in this Beta testing with us.

Please send your Name & Email address to us HERE, and stay tuned to the great things DiabetesCare.net has planned for us during & after testing. We are VERY excited :)

MySentry...MyReview

My dear, dear friend, Sandi, is a fellow D Momma and her daughter decided to go back to injections for a while. She has the Medtronic pump, CGM and MySentry. For those of you who don't know what the MySentry is...well, it's heaven in a box. Ok...maybe not heaven in a box but it's at least piece of mind in a box. It is a monitor screen that is plugged in to a room (my bedroom) and it is the exact screen that is on my daughters pump. I can tell if she is low, high, in range. How much battery life she has left. How much insulin is in her pump. How many hours until her next blood sugar check and how many days she has left on her CGM sensor. Like I said....heaven! And Sandi is letting us try it out!! I cannot even express my gratitude to her in allowing us to do this.

MySentry---and yep! She is high :( 

The day I brought it home Nora was so excited. She knew this meant the baby monitor was moving on out of her room...she said she felt free! It has to be so liberating for her. I plugged that sucker in and I stalked her CGM. I stalk it all day long (if she's home). I'm even known to say, "hey Nora! Guess what? Your blood sugar is xxx". Yea, I know...total dweeb BUT it's soooo cool!! I can sleep better knowing that I won't sleep through the alarms. I sleep better knowing what her blood sugar is and how she is trending. I love the fact I don't have to nag her about what her blood sugar is, when has she taken it and if she was in range during school. I love that she can be in her room with her friends and I don't have to worry about what her BG is or remember to turn the monitor back up after they fall asleep during their sleep over. It's just freakin' awesome!

I stalk her CGM so much I want to take it a step further. I want it on my iPhone. I want to see what she is every minute of every day. It would be awesome to text her and say "hey, your 215...you should double check and correct if needed". I could look at trends as they are happening not when I download the data. I know the technology is there and they are working on being iPhone compatible. I am not known for my patience but that's what I'm going to have to be...

Life WITHOUT diabetes...the caregivers perspective

Our good friend, Ginger Vieira, shares vlog's weekly about different diabetes topics. She's a great source of knowledge when it comes to D as she was dx'd T1D at the age of 13. She's a Diabetes Coach, freelance writer and holds records in powerlifting. She's written books too and she's just an awesome role model. I enjoy watching her vlog's and her Life WITHOUT diabetes really stuck with me. You can view it below:

So it got me thinking...I had lots of time to think as I've been painting our downstairs bathroom (FINALLY)...long story...ANYWAY...

In our family we are coming up on some LIVE-a-versary's. Nora's is 6-13-05 and Evy's is 6-1-12. We are 8 years in with dealing with diabetes. It's hard to remember what life was like before D entered uninvited. If D was suddenly cured...like tomorrow...it would feel weird NOT to do the following:

• Have my phone attached to me...what if I miss a call from school? 
• Pack lunch with a carb count
• Count carbs
• Look at nutritional labels
• SWAG...I even find myself doing this for the NON-D kid in the house
• Worry about playing sports and a low
• Standardized testing and if Nora is low/high
• Getting to know not only our Endo but the staff by name and their family!
• Knowing Children's Hospital's parking garage by heart
• SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT
• Worrying if my daughter's will make it through the night while at a sleepover
• Nagging about taking blood sugars/bolusing/site changes
• TRAVELING MINUS ONE BAG that is designated as the medical supply bag
• Knowing the Kroger pharmacy staff
• Talking to the school Nurse daily...sometimes more
• Worrying about activity, colds, stress, menstrual cycles, mood swings and how it affects D
• Walking out the door without saying "you have low supplies?"
• Carrying a smaller purse that doesn't have glucagon, pump supplies, batteries, alcohol swabs and smarties
• Having a kitchen cabinet that actually has plates and kitchen products NOT D supplies stocked
• Sending my kid on a school field trip without signing my life away on a medical information form
• Worry about my kids emotional and physical well being
• Worry about the complications 
• worry...worry...worry

It looks like a worry a lot...I do...but I try not to let it show. I try to stay upbeat, positive and encouraging. I would hate my worry to rub off on my girls and stop them from doing something. (Unless it's something they shouldn't be doing!) I can't imagine life without worry...or if the biggest thing I had to worry about was their overbite. Pffft...overbites ain't nothing compared to D!

I'm sure you can add your own ideas to the list above.  When diabetes is cured I'll be more than happy to feel weird about NOT worrying about these things but I know I will anyway. Until then...