What doesn't kill you...

You all know that I am a full time pancreas, diabetes advocate, Blue Heel wearing, Kick butt D Momma but there is another side to me too. I work at Hallmark a few times a week for my sanity (although, sometimes it's more work to get to actual work than its worth!!) But anyways...Hallmark carries a line of cards called "Between You and Me". These are agonizingly looooong cards that are VERY mushy and I just don't care for them. However, last Friday, I was putting away a shipment of cards and for some reason one of these cards beckoned me to read it. Here is what it said:

"They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

Well, what if you didn't sign up for extra-strength training?

What if you'd rather catch a few breaks once in a while?

Is that so much to ask?

At some point, you'd think you'd be entitled to a free pass or two:

Skip this challenge.

Avoid that crisis.

Delete those problems.

It's not that you're not strong 

or that you don't have what it takes to get through this.

You are, you do, and you will.

But you've built enough character already, and its time for things to lighten up a little!"

Don't you ever feel this way?

                                 ...even a little bit? 

                                                       I know I do. 

I feel this way after a birthday party I drop Nora off at only to have to turn around and go back to the party because her sensor decides it doesn't want to work but it's a sleep over and really need that sensor to work. So I have to do a whole sensor change.

Why can't I just drop her off like all the other parents do?!!?

I feel this way when she eats. Making sure we count every carb, SWAGing, bolusing before, during or after she eats, depending on what she eats. 

Why can't she just eat?!!? My 4 year old asks "how much insulin do I need" before he leaves the table and he is NOT a diabetic!! 

I feel this way when she down at the nurses office treating a low instead of in her classroom learning. 

Why can't she just learn!??!

And don't even get me going on my hemophiliac son which is a whole other host of concerns on why he can't do certain things.

A few breaks would be nice...

blood sugars in range.

sensors working properly and accurately.

sleeping through the night. 

perfect SWAGing.

I bought that card last Friday. Not to send to anyone. To keep. For ME. To take out when I'm feeling like I've had enough and read. It's funny...in a sick way. It made me laugh because this card just hits home.  

Just remember...it WON'T kill us, it WILL make us stronger, but dammit...I'm ready for a break!