Dear Hurtful Person,
I would like you to know that some days I envy you. Your lack of diabetes information, insurance worries, prescriptions benefits and hospital visits truly make me jealous. The fact that you can let your child go play for an extended period of time without checking in, letting them go on sleepover after sleepover, vacation with other families and out of state school field trips is something I can do with some trepidation but LOTS of planning.
You see, my daughters have Type 1 diabetes. To look at them you see what I do. Beautiful, blonde, carefree, funny and strong gals but inside their pancreas doesn't work. This means they are required to take insulin to keep them alive. They are attached to an insulin pump...and no, we aren't in the 1990's, kids don't wear pagers (and we've only heard that a million times!!) They need to take their blood sugar every three hours, sometimes more. They are in a constant battle within themselves to keep their blood sugar in their target range of 100-150. Some days this is like balancing those spinning plates on sticks; like you see at the circus; oh!! add going to school, work and playing sports while balancing those spinning plates. Yes, they look fine but inside they are feeling weak, tired, thirsty, hot and overwhelmed. Type 1 diabetics are some of the strongest, bravest people I know. You won't see the tears that are shed when my girls aren't feeling well or they are frustrated because their blood sugars have been riding the roller coaster all day no matter what they do. You will see them smile and carry on.
I understand and appreciate the fact that you know very little about diabetes. At one time I didn't know what it was either. But I ask you to pause before you ask a question, such as, "are they controlled?" "but you're skinny" or "can you eat that?" Instead ask what diabetes is, how it makes them feel, what they are good at, what they struggle with, what their favorite sports team is, their favorite color and their favorite food. My daughters are human. They have thoughts and feelings. They want your compassion NOT your sympathy and they sure don't want your stupidity. If you happen to have a long lost relative that had diabetes, great! But please keep the stories to yourself. Unless you physically live with or have cared for a person with Type 1 don't assume you know everything there is to know about diabetes. Believe me, if you ask caring and thoughtful questions my girls are more than happy to tell you about diabetes. However, if you proceed to tell horrific tales of them being feed too much sugar when they were little you will have a fury unleashed upon you that is just a step below Momma Bear. So consider yourself warned.
Last but not least, be kind and compassionate. If there is one good thing about diabetes it's that it has taught all of us to be compassionate to others. We understand the invisible illness. We understand pain and suffering. We see the smiles with the sad eyes. We get it. All we ask is that you do the same. Sometimes all we need is an ear to bend, or a hug, a smile or someone to say, "what can I do for you". Don't be so quick to judge someone. Just because they don't look ill doesn't mean they aren't fighting a war inside.
Sincerely,
the Mom of a T1D
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| photo credits: Google Images |
