PART 1
Here goes, and it is a bit overdue, as well as a work in progress most of us can relate to in some way or another. It is called life...better yet, it is called ‘sometimes, life is stranger than fiction, and/or get’s in the way of...well, life’.
"Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief. They were first proposed by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” No one in my immediate Family has died recently, however, there has been new Grief.
My favorite Diabetic (my Wife) worked in the ER of a very busy Hospital, and busy in a bad way, a long time back when we were still dating. During her shift, she was the one checking in all new patients, and this was before any Trauma intervention prior to seeing a doctor as most ER’s do today. She had the unfortunate experience of seeing, and being in the midst of some very horrible incidents, and she was so concerned on doing her job best she could, to try and ensure patients (and Family) got the best care forward.
But when it came to our children and/or Family members, she had to run as fast as possible at any sign of injury or pain. Just couldn’t hang. I have found I am the same way...
Although I may be an Advocate for all of us affected by diabetes, I am first and foremost a Caregiver. Doing both at the same time can produce some issues for me that are not always pleasant. When that happens, I go into a different mode especially when it involves my Wife of 30+ years, the last 19 or so as a diabetic, as it relates to pain and/or suffering of any kind.
We were hit with some newly diagnosed issues, the one’s that are called co-morbidities, related to diabetes. It hit me *hard*, like never before *hard*, like I never hoped or wanted it to be kinda *hard*. I then withdrew...BIG TIME!
I reminded myself this is not the first time we have had peripheral issues related to diabetes enter our life. I also finally [again] realized I could not just walk away from my Advocacy work, because that was an option I cannot take, I just don’t really have it in me to quit.
Am I, or was I grieving? Yes. Did hearing the words "I'll wait for you in Heaven babe" from my favorite Diabetic remind me of the reality...yes!
So, I not only gave myself a refresher course on the ‘5 Stages of Grief’, I realized at that time that I had to flip each Stage around, and make it better in the context of me. I am calling this the “5 Stages of [Good] Grief”.
I am blessed beyond words in so many different aspects of my life. One of those blessings is to be surrounded by some of the fiercest D warriors I have ever known, and because of my fellow BHS Team members Diane, Jen, and Tony, I have had the opportunity of being able to take care of me & mine first, before any 'work' as some call it, without me feeling guilty of not being ready for duty every day.
The 5 Stages do not always happen, do not happen in any order, and are different for everyone. The first Stage I will write about & how I am trying to make it better is "Denial and Isolation", which I will talk about in Part 2, as well about the *why* I think I am/was grieving as it relates to the new diagnosis's.
Stay tuned...
T Moore, CCO
Blue Heel Society
