Whether you have a D child or children you've felt it.
The first time you discipline them and they get it.
The first time you hurt their feelings.
The first time they have their feelings hurt by a friend.
The first time they get dumped by a boyfriend.
The time your child is diagnosed with Diabetes.
You have all read how we in the Loving family dealt with diabetes from day one. We carried on like we did before D. You all know that Nora was diagnosed at 4 years old. So we totally set the tone for how to handle people's reactions to Nora having diabetes.
One of my favorite stories is one my hubby tells. He had taken Nora to the Mall one Saturday. Not sure where Evy and I were but we weren't there. Anyway....it's lunch time and Joe takes her to the food court to eat. They eat. He figures out her insulin dose. Draws up the syringe and gets an ugly look from a stranger sitting next to them. To which Joe replies, "In our family, we prefer to free base at the Mall". Well imagine the even bigger shock this person displays at Joe's statement. He then goes on to tell this person that Nora is a Type 1 Diabetic. I still giggle to this day every time I think about it!!
But all kidding aside she's been able to grow up in a home that educates and accepts. So when she goes out today and people are looking at her either she doesn't realize it because it's always just been there or she is so over it that it's a non issue. All her friends are super accepting. They even fight over who gets to walk her to the Nurse's office at school. It got so bad I had to email the teachers and tell them she is able to walk to the Nurse's office by herself. She was stressing out about who she should pick!
Compare this to Evy. Even though she has grown up with her sister having D it's just always been in the background. It's never been about D and her. So when I get a text from her the other day and she is upset because it was suggested that she go to the bathroom to give herself a shot instead of doing it in front of her peers...my heart breaks. It broke into a million pieces. I "talked" her through it. Come to f ind out that the suggestion was made and taken the wrong way and things were back to normal and all was forgiven. But I still wanted to punch them for making her upset.
It got me thinking. Two things really.
1. Evy's friends are not yet accepting. Sure Nora's friends have been around it for the past 7 years. They are used to it. Evy's aren't. They are learning right along with her. So I need to give them some grace. Grace to accept the Evy with D. That she isn't different. She just has diabetes. She's the same girl: crazy, fun-loving and outgoing. She just needs to take her blood sugar and give herself injections.
2.Will we by pass this situation with Nora? Because she's had it for so long is it now a non-issue? What about boyfriends? Will they be accepting or will it then become an issue? I hadn't really thought about it until I got Evy's text.
It's been interesting sort of comparing the girls. Not that there is really an comparing the situations. Since Evy has graduated she's already lost some friends. I guess they are all trying to break free since a good lot of them are going away. But one would think they would have at least checked on her since her diagnosis. Makes you wonder...but then they are self obsessed teenagers who can't wait to move on. So do I blame them? They know Nora has it and its "no big deal" so maybe that's why. Or maybe it's late, I'm tired and over thinking things...maybe.
I just know it hurts more because Evy is aware of it and it hurts her. Where as with Nora she's grown up with it so there isn't that hurt of seeing how friends treat her differently after a diagnosis. It's been interesting to say the least. Nora has grown up with us telling her she can do anything, diabetes doesn't define you, diabetes doesn't have you, YOU have diabetes. We've been toughening her up...giving her a steel heart with some gentleness. To still be caring, kind and accepting but not taking crap from others in regards to her diabetes specifically. Where as Evy has the kindest heart with a little steel. Her sister having D and her brother with hemophilia has given her a kind heart to others and accepting nature to people with all disabilities. But she's never had to overcome the adversity of having a disability. (For the record, I don't even like using the word disability and diabetes together...but for sake of writing I will use the word and grumble as I use it!) And I think that having to overcome that adversity it gives you a steel heart, if you will. So now begins my teaching to Evy...Diabetes doesn't have you, YOU have diabetes!!
Now to super glue the pieces of my broken heart so that if it happens again it will be harder to break.
