A few weeks ago I posted my letter to diabetes, simply titled: Dear Diabetes. Thank you to Melissa Morley for sharing her Dear Diabetes letter with us! You can find Melissa at Naturally Sweet-Life with Type 1 Diabetes here.
Jen encouraged the rest of us to write and share our own letters to Diabetes. I want Jen to know that I tried; God knows I did. My first attempt was an f-bomb laced diatribe. My second attempt was a letter of a defiant and threatening nature. The third time around I just wrote "you can't have Alison" and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.
While my attempt at a letter that I could share with all of you, one that would be therapeutic and helpful, might seem like a bust, I re-learned a lesson that keeps coming up. My friend Tammy's mother Debbie has told me that the universe will send you the same assignment over and over again until you learn it by heart and this one is taking me a while. IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME FOR THE PAIN OF DIAGNOSIS TO EASE, if it ever will.
I keep thinking that my life has moved on. That I am okay with poking my child with lancets and testing her blood several times a day. That putting tubes into her body and giving her needles is just the way it is. That it is what it is. That the late nights are fine. That watching my child go through her worst moments while feeling helpless is okay. Then I will have a day when I get that feeling like I did on the day that we were diagnosed almost two years ago.
The best way I can describe it is this. When they told us that Alison was in Diabetic ketoacidosis , the room felt like the air had been sucked out of it. Everyone feels it differently. But that's what it was like for me. When it hits me, every once in a while, it feels like that again.
The one thing I would tell Diabetes is this though, someone like Alison, who is currently running around the living room, wearing a cape calling herself Super Ali, is hard to put down and hard to be down around your very own super hero!
