Apr 10, 2012

Day 10 of the WEGO Challenge: Dear 16 year old me:

16 year old me circa 1990 during the Grunge/Alternative years!! My Dad snapped this pic in the morning and I STILL don't do mornings!!

Dear 16 year old Me:
You will marry your best friend, Joey, and together you will have three wonderful children!! Yes...I said three!! I know prepare yourself! There will never be a dull moment...so enjoy those rare moments of teenage boredom! These kids will be your greatest accomplishment and your biggest heartbreak. You will cheer with your children with every step they take and every milestone they meet. You will be their biggest cheerleader!

Then the heartbreak...with every boo boo, or classmates that leave them out of parties and diagnosis. That's right...diagnosis. Your middle daughter, Nora, will be diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at the tender age of 4. You will learn how to keep her alive with multiple, daily insulin injections.

Injections...needles...shots and fingersticks. 

I am telling you that you will stick your baby girl with needles! AWFUL!! But guess what?!? You will do it, you won't like it...in fact you'll hate it, but you'll do it. Some days you will do everything right and other days you WILL mess up. Diabetes is NOT a perfect disease. It has a mind of its own. You will wake up in the middle of the night for blood sugar checks, stay up with her when she is running low and do insulin injections/bolus's when she is high. You will cry right along with her when diabetes is kicking her butt and you will wish it upon yourself because not even your worst enemy deserves this terrible disease.

You will worry like crazy when you drop her off at school, play dates, anywhere, for that matter. You'll even be a little jealous/resentful of families that can drop their kids off anywhere without a care in the world. You will see Nora grow up years before her time because that's what diabetes does. It robs her youth. How can it not? When her body is fighting to live everyday and YOU have to help it. You have to be her pancreas thats decided it's not gonna work anymore! I know this sounds horrible and some days it is.

Pick that jaw up off the floor!! Don't fret, it won't help and...I am here to tell you...you are a FIGHTER!! 
You always have been!! You will learn all about diabetes. You will teach all about diabetes to her school/teachers/coaches. You will be her advocate and empower her to advocate for herself. You will be her voice when she can't speak. You will meet some wonderful friends along the way who also walk the diabetes walk...you, Joey and your other children will grow closer. Your family will form an invisible force field that is so strong that Darth Vader himself cannot destroy it!!

Diabetes will become just one of many of your passions. It will consume you but NOT in a bad way. You will use this passion to do great things!! You will volunteer with the local Juvenile Diabetes chapters, you will mentor other diabetes families, you and Nora will meet lawmakers, you will raise money to find a cure, you'll be on an Executive Board for diabetes and you will ROCK  the Blue Heels!!! (what do diabetes and Blue Heels have to do with each other?!?! It's ALL about raising awareness for diabetes, my friend!! PLUS you love shoes...Just wait, you'll understand one day!) This may seem so overwhelming and I'm not gonna lie...IT IS!! But, Jen, YOU ARE GONNA KICK A$$!!

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming,
Jen